Time in Reverse

A poem for Charlotte and Hannah

 

The teacher called us out of class

We waited, frozen inside, unable to ask

The car pulled up and mum walked out

And then we saw it in her brave, flinching face

We clasped her hand and knew

 

Together in the kitchen, she held us close

Kissing our hair and pulling us in

Explained our loving daddy’s gone, now at peace

Devoted, how much he cared, and loved us

Then, now and always

 

For weeks before and earlier that day

We’d bounced on in to have our say

To share our news, to bring some tea

We knew it wasn’t normal, but it was for us

Because he answered, smiled, and he was there

 

So when we stood before his bed

Laid out on folded linen, chest unmoving

We peeked, afraid, held mummy’s arms

Was this our father? Not now, he’s gone

No answer, smile, he wasn’t there

 

Time in reverse, the clock’s run down,

Like sand slipping through fingers

So quick – to think last summer, we could fly

Together all, no questions asked of us… and then

Prepare, your daddy’s poorly, let’s hunker down

 

The year progressed, surreal and other worldly

A blur of face masks, chemo, please go softly

Distanced from the normal skip of life

Numbed and blunted, disease-affronted

Daddy being sick – to us just normal, life goes on

 

It’s difficult to know what to say or how to feel

Surrounded by crying, sadness his dying came too soon

Too soon? Why – how? So callous, cruel

Like we’ve been robbed of our crown jewel

So how should we feel? But we don’t know…

 

We’re heading up the mountain soon

To wave him off and say goodbye

But we’re not ready now nor then

We’ll be together, he’ll never part

And so he’ll stay here in our heart

 

Uncle Andy